The Bungiwalliland Daily Times

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Word has arrived from Lord Sir Harry Bottomly, arch infiltrator and master of disguise, that all remains well inside the besieged Poona Mission.  Help, however, remains urgently needed if the beleagered Reverend Beaton, his daughter Pauline and the other residents, good Christians all, are to survive the depredations of the savage Go-Go Poona, a tribe known for cruelty and a particularly malicious sense of humour.

It seems that Sir Harry has disguised himself as one of the masked native warriors currently surrounding the mission stockade.  In this capacity Lord H. has been able to relay messages from Reverend Beaton to local natives friendly to the Crown.  These messages have been sent up river to Sympoopa via native drum signals.  The time required to relay a given dispatch is roughly two hours, a speed which somewhat embarrassed the Royal Post Office which generally requires two days to deliver along the same route.

The Bungwalli Station Post Office Rifles have volunteered to participate in the relief of Poona Mission, as, in the words of Post Master and provisional C.O. of the Rifles; Major Ozmond Niles, "Lives are not the only thing at stake here now.  This is a matter of honour!"

On a related note; Colonel Ripperton, drawing inspiration from Lord Sir Harry's daring deed, has also taken on disguise and has infiltrated the Go-Go Poona ranks.  However, due to an unfortunate knob-kerrie juggling accident, Ripperton has lost all memory of his previous life and now believes himself to be a Poona Chieftain named Pdongo-Bongo.  Major General Percival Pinwheel Flunderton, who will shortly lead the relief column, has given express orders that all participants in the campaign will please endeavour not to shoot Colonel Ripperton, if at all possible.

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